You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa! 

In this episode, we get into the spirit of Christmas with Miracle on 34th Street, the timeless classic about a crazy old man named Kris Kringle who thinks he’s Santa Claus. 

Originally released in 1947, this is the meandering story of a hotshot attorney who goes to bat for a delusional old man to prove that he’s the real Santa. 

After a bit of dumb luck on behalf of the USPS (and a random dollar bill), the state of New York decides that there’s no harm in being mentally unstable so long as you’re spreading Christmas spirit. 

With a combined runtime of just over three and a half hours, the only miracle of note is watching two people get married in a Catholic church without trudging through months of marriage prep and awkward couples retreats.